Archive for October, 2008

dark forest
dark forest

When I was cleaning my room, I bumped into pieces of yellow papers where I wrote some of my works that I must have forgotten ever existed.

Freezing Hell

It was snowing, the night was quiet, the moon was showing her spotless features. It was December in nobody-knows-where, nobody-cares-where land of the hopeless and disembodied spirits, where they shivered in cold, moan in pain, squall for life; died with frostbite in their souls eating them slowly—piercing them from their filthy and unforgivable sins. It was hell only without the flames of eternal fire.

She sat there watching the others who are like her; hungry, thirsty, and suffering for the love and the life that were taken away by her enemies who devoured her happiness; who drowned her in the cold and freezing black waters of nobody-knows where foul oceans of lie and lust. Unfortunately, a sudden immerse cognition came to her—that her enemy is no other than the young lass she sees on her mirror. She’s a hazard to herself, she always thought.

She sobbed.

The night was cold, stale and frigid. The foul smell of the dead like burned ashes of bones, tissues and organs, the aroma like fragrance of the morning for those who have been there all there lives. The irony is that they never wanted the place to their home ground, but never can they change what they believe to be destined—–to suffer and die. to endure the pain is the only goal left for existence. Hunger and thirst were no longer enemies, because both were no longer a novelty to them. Apathy was no longer a crime. It was life.

The darkness that enveloped the sky was their only food. The only safe place to be with was to gather around with the rest of the others who are like them living in the shadows of shame, despair and helplessness but she wasn’t. She chose to be distant from the others as a form of atonement for all her lies. It was the life they’ve created for themselves. A life in freezing hell.

Everytime she picked up that razor, she felt life beforehand. And everytime she penetrated it on her slender pale flesh, she felt alive. The blood that dripped from her flesh to the filthy ground reminds her of the dammed life that she’s living. Everytime she took in the pills, she began breathing and smelling the perfume-like ocean, touching the thorns, and grasping tightly the thorny wires. Blood spilled again to the same ground where she fell on her knees.

The guilt feelings that she hid inside her are consuming her, eating her soul, gradually inflicting self hate. The more she suffered the pain, the more the anger intensified. It’s cut too deep—-too deep that the wound would never heal until the day of reckoning, until the day she will be ripped apart into teensy-weensy pieces; burned into frozen ashes until all particles of her will be dispersed in the world that she hated.



Ph.D. in Psychology
Ph.D. in Psychology

According to Thomas H. Leahey, the traditional history of science was written by scientist themselves that resulted in smug and self-satisfied works, which made them biased in a certain extent that they only considered accounts in the development of science that they want to reckon. However, historians have written history on a different framework, seeing history of science as a weak human enterprise unresolvable from the rest of human history, imposing fear among scientist that this nontraditional perception on the history of science may influence their students to undermine their faith in science.

Despite the development of the History of Psychology, it is evident that much of psychology’s past have been ignore such that chapters on the books on History of Psychology provide no sense of the past and of what is like to be a psychologist, a physiologist or a philosopher before. Thus rationalizes Topics in History of Psychology is history without the past; also justifying Ebbinghaus’ famous line that “Psychology has a very short history, but with a long past.”

Even scholars or psychologist are historically ignorant about studying the field without even considering events happening outside the field that could have been significant in the study of psychology. In addition, they are shallow in a sense that even they who write about the History of Psychology commit mistakes, lacking depth of intellect or knowledge and concerned only with what is obvious resulting in many errors that new psychology historians have corrected and repeatedly written. Therefore justifying why we only have few references, whereas other books have become obsolete and others were never used.

In Leahey’s article, mistakes on the study Psychology were emphasized, including how psychology historians or scholars place value judgments to the extent of writing one’s own perspective rather than putting focus on different perspective. For instance, Edwin G. Boring’s first textbook was not only published as reference book but also has a deeper motive, which is to be used as a defense weapon against John B. Watson’s growing Behaviorism.

Psychology historians have no respect for the value of the past not realizing that everything in the past influences the present; that the past plays an important role in the development of the theories in psychology that we have right now. This is what they consider as Whig and can be linked with the presentist point of view—looking at history from the present perspectives and ideas as a product of the present. There is also an issue on internalism, whereby historians tend to have studied what was happening within the field without regards to what developments other fields have that could contribute to the development in the theories of psychology. In addition, psychology historians associate history with great men and undermining women, because women before have no stand or place in society, which is really discriminating. Furthermore, History of Psychology was represented by only few personalities whereas other great minds were ignored; thus, psychology historians focus on individuals rather than works. Lastly, they are ignorant and shallow that they only have limited view on the study as a result on the mistakes presented above.

As a psychology student, I would have to say that its disappointing that even scholars of the very own field that I am studying now are ignorant, that I also see myself like them. The fact that I have not known much and that I only remember few names and dates make me want to know more about psychology. And as mush as possible I would not want to commit same mistakes that those psychology scholars have committed in the study of the History of Psychology.


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